Pride from the other side

I have questions

How many Pride events have I been to now? Five? Six?

How many evangelical events have I been to in my life, counting all the church services, meetings, seminars, camps, conferences…?

Somewhere close to 8,000 as a conservative estimate?

Out of those 8,000 events, have I ever attended one at which demonstrators showed up with accusatory words carried on signs and blasted through megaphones?

Have I ever attended an evangelical event that required police protection?

An evangelical event at which peacekeepers volunteered to create a protective barrier with their bodies to symbolize support ?

“What do you hear in these sounds? What do you hear in these sounds?” sings Dar Williams.

Is there any way to get into this Pride event without encountering protesters?

Do my friend and I have what it takes to cross the street into this group of demonstrators?

Do I have the wherewithal to walk past them without crying, panicking, or running away?

What does this noise mean? This shouting of god-words from the megaphone behind the barrier?

“What do you hear in these sounds? What do you hear in these sounds?”

Why was I so loved and respected by non-religious people when I was an evangelical?

Why did evangelism feel gross to me even when I was an evangelical?

Why did multilevel marketing feel a similar kind of gross?

Why did I automatically lose nearly all my evangelical friends when I was no longer evangelical?

Why do the few I have left admit that they hope I change?

Why am I able to build mutually-respectful connections with almost anyone now that I’m non-religious?

“What do you hear in these sounds? What do you hear in these sounds?”

How did they become convinced that they love us, when they don’t know us?

Why do they think they know us better than we know ourselves?

Do they have any genuine friendships with people who are out as gay?

Why can’t they can’t tolerate us existing in their consciousness?

Why do they perceive us as a threat?

Why are they holding signs depicting rainbow-colored hands dripping onto a dead fetus? Do they think we cause abortions?

Why do they feel compelled to punish us with their disapproval?

Do they really think their disapproval will win us over to their cause?

“What do you hear in these sounds? What do you hear in these sounds?”

What would it take for me to interject myself into a peaceful Christian gathering with a bullhorn?

Why are they calling that love?

Is it love?

Do I love you if I’m not interested in hearing, only in telling?

If I don’t trust or respect you?

If I assume the worst of you?

If I believe we can’t be friends unless we hold the same beliefs?

“What do you hear in these sounds? What do you hear in these sounds?”

Does it matter where it came from if it has a positive effect on me and my relationships with myself, other people, and the world?

Does it matter where it came from if it has a negative effect on me and my relationships with myself, other people, and the world?

What would it take for me to feel justified in withdrawing my love from my friend, my parent, my sibling, my child, until they become who I want them to be?”

Do these demonstrators understand that they are telling me about themselves and telling me nothing about myself?

Do they have any idea that I understand the courage it requires to demonstrate against the straw man effigy they have constructed in lieu of knowing me?

Do they know I understand that they truly believe they truly love me?

Do they know I don't hate them?

Will they look back on their behavior someday and grieve?

Like I grieve having treated my children this way, believing it was love?

“Still my heart is heavy

With the hate of some other man’s beliefs

Screaming the name

Of a foreigner’s God

The purest expression of grief”

~Hozier, from Foreigner’s God

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[Some of the following photos were taken by others.]

My little local town held its very first Pride event this year. I cropped out the organizer, because I don't have permission to post his photo publicly. Chosen family~

Chosen family~

Wishing every day was Pride~

This made me choke up.

From my oldest son, Joseph~

Chosen family~

Me with chosen family, tuning out the noise behind me with some effort, as you can see by my expression ~

Hugging every peacekeeper and thanking them. They looked like the real Christians to me. I couldn't help but tear up.

More chosen family~

Unconcerned that there's a rainbow over her head~

Unconcerned that she is a rainbow~